It’s 2:00 a.m. Tones drop:
“Engine, and Ladder Truck, automatic fire alarm.”

Address: One of those sketchy hotel joints where you already know it’s gonna be a smells and bells kind of call. Dispatch adds, smoke alarm activation, apartment 111.

Due to staffing, I’m riding officer… a position I have neither the training nor experience to be in. I’ve got a brand-new firefighter in the back, and the only person on the truck with any real experience is our driver. So naturally, I’m in charge. What could go wrong?

We pull on scene. I’m trying to mark in command, grab the bar and can, and keep track of my probie all at the same time. That’s when I see it, a man of African descent… sprinting out of apartment 111… pants around his ankles… full send down the hill… butt cheeks clapping in the wind for all the world to see. 

PD’s already on scene, so we point out our Olympic sprinter and move on to the alarm that’s still screaming throughout the building.

We make entry into 111 and find Juli Cox, aggressively fanning smoke away from a pan of burnt Brussels sprouts… at 2 in the morning… like that’s a normal life decision.

At that point, I call it. The truck can go back in service. There is obviously no real emergency here. Just poor decisions and burnt vegetables.

We move to the panel to reset. Spend a few minutes wrestling with the Knox Box becouse nothing ever works the first try at 2 in the morning. Our driver finally gets it open, and we try for a reset on the system… nothing.

So back into 111 I go. That’s when I notice something new. There’s another guy. Just… sitting on the couch. Hasn’t said a word. Hasn’t moved. Just watching us like this is his morning entertainment. Honestly, he might’ve been there the whole time, probably didn’t want to give up his place in line. 

I grab Juli’s info for the fire report, set my phone on the table, climb up on a chair, and find the problem. In a futile attempt to silence the alarm, she had ripped the detector off the ceiling and unplugged it. I plug it back in, remount it, and voila, the system resets.

With the alarm finally shut up… and now you can hear it: chirp… chirp… A standalone smoke detector with a dying battery. At this point, I assume that noise is just part of the ambiance for her clientele. I tell Juli to ventilate better when cooking and maybe change her smoke detector batteries. Hall dispatch on the radio, tell them there’s no emergency. Terminate command, Engine’s back in service.

While we’re backing out, I talk to one of the officers. He casually mentions “Oh yeah, we’ve got a warrant for that apartment. Also turns out that guy that ran off dropped a bunch of drugs on the way down the hill,” because of course he did.

I ask if they need anything from us, nope, they’re good. So we head back.

Get back to the station… and that’s when I realize I can’t find my phone.

Check the location… yep. Still on scene at the hotel. It’s now 4 a.m, and I decide that’s a “morning problem for morning me” and go to bed. Wake up the next day, walk into the kitchen… and there’s my phone sitting on the table. With a text from the Chief:

“Since you’ve found your phone now, you’ll be happy to know PD dropped it off here at 5:00 after you left it in a hooker’s hotel room (yes, really). They were there shortly after y’all serving a search warrant for prostitution and drugs. He went to bag your phone up as evidence and luckily saw your lock screen light up. I’d probably give it a good sanitizing…” Note: I’m very thankful my lock screen is a photo of me and a fellow firefighter doing firefighter things.

And it gets better. Apparently, the officer called the Chief, saying, “Hey, we’ve got something that belongs to one of your guys.” Chief says he’ll pass it along… then tries calling me. The officer answers my phone. “Yeah… I’ve got his phone.” I’ll be dropping it off…. 

So yeah. First time riding officer: Minor chaos, one naked sprinter, burnt Brussels sprouts, an active drug warrant, and my phone almost became evidence in a prostitution case. All in a night’s work of serving the citizens.